Dear Abby: Guests want in on family reunion bash

Dear Abby We have an annual weekend family reunion that includes family and critical others along with their children Bulk of the children are adults now One of them my niece was in recent weeks married and is asking if her new husband s sister and possibly her boyfriend can come to the reunion We don t have anyone other than immediate family attend although we do have a special attendee this year My brother-in-law s mother is here from South America She will be coming only for the day rather than the whole weekend How do I politely refuse my niece s request without hurting her feelings More or Merrier Dear M or M An exception has already been made for your brother-in-law s mother I m not sure you can refuse to include your niece s new husband s sister and possibly her boyfriend this time around without causing hurt feelings Throw a sparse more hot dogs on the grill and cross your fingers that everyone will have a good time just this once Dear Abby I have been married for years My husband often accuses me of having cheated on him and being disrespectful to him throughout our marriage I have reported specific things in tactics I agree were disrespectful especially after I have been accused of lying etc However I have never cheated or lied to him as he so often accuses me of What do you advise Honest in Georgia Dear Honest I wish you had written to me about this when it started If you had I would have pointed out that people who accuse their partners of lying to them and cheating on them often have done exactly that themselves He s accusing YOU of disrespect What do you think he has been doing Tell your accuser abuser that if he has proof of his accusations he should come with you to a marriage and family therapist and discuss it or you are going to leave him Then depending upon his response follow through Dear Abby My grandson is transgender and gets very hurt when I misgender his name I am nearly and use she sometimes when talking to him I wrote him a letter at college we exchange letters all the time and recounted him my brain is old and if I keep saying she when we talk maybe we should just keep writing and see each other less often if it keeps hurting him Did I do the right thing Mistaken in Massachusetts Dear Mistaken You may have meant well but I don t think it was a wise choice Unintentional misgendering is a fact of life in plenty of families with a transgender loved one Seeing your grandson less often is not going to cure the difficulty you re experiencing Seeing him MORE often may give you the opportunity to become more calm with his true identity Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA