Dear Abby: Diva stepdaughter dividing family

Dear Abby My stepdaughter Allie whom I ve raised as my own since she was has banned my -year-old daughter s -year-old girlfriend Taylor from coming to her house for the holidays She dislikes that Taylor is years younger than her sister Because of this I decided to celebrate the holidays at my house instead of hers My husband had a massive stroke four years ago and it is demanding for him to spend much time away from home Because Taylor would be there Allie decided not to be present She hung up on both of us when we tried to discuss the situation with her and we haven t spoken to her since My sister-in-law reported my husband we need to reach out to Allie so we have no regrets We declined because Allie has reliably been a diva who lies and manipulates to get her way How should this be handled At this point I want to say I m done because I don t feel we should be the ones to apologize Welcoming in Louisiana Dear Welcoming Ask yourself this and answer the question honestly If Allie were hit by a truck the upcoming day would you regret that you hadn t reached out to her If the answer is no stand pat If the answer is yes continue inviting her to holiday events and give her the opportunity to grow up and be gracious The choice is yours it shouldn t be your sister-in-law s whose business this isn t Dear Abby My husband left me and moved another woman in with him in our second home We had been married for years He declared we had drifted apart and that he did not love me anymore For almost two years I have been working on my issues but I held out hope that we could work on a reconciliation We are friendly but he isn t interested in reconciling He also says he does not want a divorce and prefers to continue being separated As I have grown used to being alone I have started thinking more about divorcing him even though it would have a financial impact on me I did talk with a counselor in the past but I feel stuck where I am Should I stay separated or divorce In Limbo in New Mexico Dear In Limbo No one can make that decision for you However I have a suggestion that may help you make several central decisions about your future Make an appointment with an attorney who specializes in divorce law and discuss what the financial fallout would be if you divorced your absent husband The negative impact could be less than you fear However if it is not then return to your therapist continue working on your issues and ask for help in figuring out what would be the healthier choice for you Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA